


Dapperstache by Wilford Warfstache

by Septictrash247



Series: Wilford Writes a Fanfic [2]
Category: Jacksepticeye- Fandom, Video Blogging RPF, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Host is done, I have too much free time, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Wilford is a clueless man, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-13 04:25:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15356199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Septictrash247/pseuds/Septictrash247
Summary: “From now on I want every fanfic I read to be written by Wilford Warfstache. This was too good.“Never underestimate the power of free time Wilford has.





	Dapperstache by Wilford Warfstache

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Relh99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relh99/gifts).



> Ask and you shall receive~

          _ **Well, I knew I would get a tremendous response~ (Though it’s now really that big). So I thought I would, crave your unruly desires in order for you all to experience my true passions. Obviously, writing about Dark was a mistake, I can see that now. But me? Well I can write a book about me! In fact I have! It’s called, the Warfstache Experience. It’s a fantastic novel about my adventures in the wild, the people i’ve interviewed, the people i’ve held hostage. Just a little summary about me- But, I know what all you naughty fans want~. You want ROMANCE! Tragic love. So, I’ve “borrowed” Host’s laptop. It seems to work better for this case scenario. Now then.. Let’s get started, shall we~?**_

_**Here we see someone pop into existence, the object of my desire, Jameson~. Jamie rarely talks but he cute smile says it all. He walks up to the great Wilford Warfstache timidly. His air of confidence and charisma is just overbearing enough that he second guesses himself. The amazing, and totally in top condition Warfstache looks over with a large and dazzling smile. “Why, salutations Jamie. What brings you here on this fine serendipitous day?” The little and dapper Irishmen looked away bashfully and snapped his fingers to speak, his beautiful blue eyes now in full light. “Mr. Warfstache..” He answered timidly. I- I mean.. The….. Superb Wilford raised an inquisitive eyebrow at him. “Yes? What is it my friends?” I answer- He answered with great and gently, and courteous sensarity. Jamie looked up after biting his lip shyly, and looked down at his nervous and trembling hands. Sensing his nervousness and need for comfort, the handsome man reached over and held them firmly. “What has you so shaken my good man?” Jamie looked away before he looked back up, tears in his blue eyes.** _

_**“Oh sir.. You are jus’ so amazin’, astonishin’, astoundin’, stunnin’, staggerin’, stupefyin’, breathtakin’; awesome, awe-inspirin’, sensational, remarkable, spectacular, stupendous, phenomenal, extraordinary, incredible, unbelievable, jaw-droppin’, wondrous, and down right godly.. It’s so hard te talk to ye..”** _

_**“Oh my angle, do not be intimidated by me. I have flaws like you.. For instance, i’m not as tall as i’d like to be.. But other than that I am pretty great.”** _

_**“I think yer a perfect size.”** _

_**Jamie smiled his dazzling smile and the god-like man was humbled before it. Such innocence and beauty.. Oh he’s just so perfect, just like me.. It was then and there that The Wilford Warfstache’s heart blossomed forth and tilted the smaller’s chin up. “Oh Jamie. Every perfect man needs a perfect soulmate..” He spoke softly. Jamie gasped in awe.** _

_**“I-I never knew ye felt that was about me.. I-I thought I wasn’t good enough for someone like you so I pushed my feelings aside.”** _

_**“My dove. You are more than that. I love you.”** _

_**“Oh, please- ravish me, let me only serve you.”** _

_**“With pleasure~”** _

_**And they lived and had sex, and had a family, and had sex, and got married, and then a misunderstanding happened because I slept around because He’s spontaneous and then Jamie tried to end his life but then through tears and heartbreak we made up and then we had more glorious.. Hot.. Sinful sex.. The End** _

  
        “So? What do you think? Magnificent huh?” The clueless man said as he waited, bouncing in his seat as the author in company read over his story. Host looked up, stone-faced in the gaze of the pink mustached man. Host leaned forward to hand back the manuscript before he leaned back and crossed his leg over his lap and pondered calmly in silence. Wilford waited, and waited as Host finally intertwined his hands together and opened his mouth to speak.

“You used the term serendipitous incorrectly, as well as there are a lot of grammatical issues.. Your characterization is off for you are not that eloquent, and Jamie is not a person without proper self-respect. This is clearly a sign that you are not aware of reality, you lack the capacity to grasp the concept of real love, and you’re insane. Your “story”- if you want to call this, trival little fantasy that, has me in tears from its lack of wit and depth. I pray for the art of literature. You ungodly shell of a supposed human.”

“I appreciate your honesty!”

“Get the hell out of my abode. Right. Now.”


End file.
